I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize