reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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