This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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