I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I skipped work to stalk him.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize