I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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