Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize