with your own penis?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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