I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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