How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize