There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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