Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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