is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
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French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Still dying that you shit outside
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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