It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize