The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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