When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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