wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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