I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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