Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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