OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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