So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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