So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
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I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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