Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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