i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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