No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
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It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
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It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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