No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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