her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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