I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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