Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize