Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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