I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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