I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize