Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.

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  (626): I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong. http://tfl.nu/s8qo
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?

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  (630): I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward? http://tfl.nu/ncf8
  Replies (36) Good night (553) Bad night (2766) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.

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  (813): No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want. http://tfl.nu/m7ba
  Replies (26) Good night (3749) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.

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  (650): Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/nfhv
  Replies (30) Good night (1492) Bad night (4033) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

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  (954): I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers." http://tfl.nu/vnij
  Replies (40) Good night (5358) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.

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  (806): Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever. http://tfl.nu/07ur
  Replies (9) Good night (4201) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.

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  (319): How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules. http://tfl.nu/ttz2
  Replies (26) Good night (7856) Bad night (1196) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog

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  (860): That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog http://tfl.nu/ckju
  Replies (6) Good night (1180) Bad night (2855) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It's inspiring.

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  (910): All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day... (910): It's inspiring. http://tfl.nu/vfb2
  Replies (13) Good night (3277) Bad night (1147)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.

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  (724): Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them. http://tfl.nu/a4j7
  Replies (17) Good night (898) Bad night (5970) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat

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  (757): He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat http://tfl.nu/9wfo
  Replies (7) Good night (2831) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth

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  (405): Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth http://tfl.nu/55g6
  Replies (0) Good night (772) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face

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  (519): Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face http://tfl.nu/itm4
  Replies (10) Good night (575) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.

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  (517): Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up. http://tfl.nu/ansq
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (144) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.

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  (505): Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis. http://tfl.nu/t3p3
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (79) Order T-Shirt

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