Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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