my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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