Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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