we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ketchup is God's man juice
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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