i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
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hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize