I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize