Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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