Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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