fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just puked most of my soul out..
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