Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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