I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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