k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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