you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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