I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize