Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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