Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize