Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize