she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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