So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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