The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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